100 Ron Swanson Quotes

100 Ron Swanson Quotes

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Ron Swanson quotes – Ronald Ulysses Swanson, also known as Ron Swanson, is a fictional character played by Nick Offerman on the NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation, created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur.

So many things were shared by the fans of the movie. One of them is the Ron Swanson character who has a very flat and stereotypical male personality, actively works to make the government less effective and hates interacting with people.

He loved meat, woodworking, hunting, Lagavulin whiskey, breakfast food, seafood and sex. Ron claims not to be interested in the private lives of those around him, but in reality he cares deeply for his colleagues. This is why I like Ron’s character so much.

His portrayal of Ron Swanson has received widespread critical acclaim. The characters develop a cult following and are widely considered the runaway characters of the series.

He has been described by some critics as one of the best sitcom characters of the decade and has been called the best comedic character on television.

Together we can learn a lot about life from Ron Swanson’s funny, interesting and inspiring character.

Here are 100 Ron Swanson quotes that are funny and interesting for all of us.

Ron Swanson quotes give me funny things after reading them

1. “Respect: If you need a definition of it. you don’t have

2. “Your house is not haunted. You are alone.”

3. “Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.”

4. “People are stupid, Leslie.”

5. “Gather that which is free. I need more Ron Swansons.”

6. “We have an activity planned: not to be killed.”

7. “Everything I do has the attitude of a prize winner because I’ve won a prize.”

8. “Keep your tears where they belong.”

9. “I said you will get many job offers in your life but you only have one village.”

10. “Don’t start chasing applause and accolades. That path is madness.”

11. Food – The only thing capable of bringing out the human side of Ron Swanson. Let’s have a look at some of the best food from him.

12. “I don’t like most of you. What I love is breakfast.”

13. “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, I still want to hit something.

14. “I can think of nothing more noble to go to war with than bacon and eggs.”

15. “Veganism is the tragic result of a morally corrupt mind. Rethink your life.”

16. “Barbecues should be about one thing: good shared meat.”

17. “I work hard to make sure my department is as small and inefficient as possible.”

18. “Well, I’m not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye. “

19. “I present this menu from JJ’s Diner, a Pawnee institution. Home of the World’s Best Breakfast Dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporklips.”

20. “Incorporate a spirit of melancholy. easy Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. That is art. Anything means anything.”

21. “Listen, I’ve eaten commissary hamburgers for lunch every day for twelve years. I just want to make sure that this pointless health crusade doesn’t affect the only part of my job that I love.”

22.”This is a flying robot that I just shot out of the sky when it tried to give me a package.”

23. “If there’s no meat in it, it’s breakfast.”

24. “In my opinion, not enough people have looked at dinner and considered it the circle of life.”

25.” We’ll get along well, hopefully not too well, because I’m not looking for any new friends. End the speech.”

26. “Haha, “Euro-trash,” I like that. It really is a volume of trash.”

27. “Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.”

28. “Say what you want about organized religion, but those bastards knew how to build a building.”

29. “Live life the way you want, but don’t let drama make you happy.”

30. “On a night like this when the cold winds blow, drifting away from our dreams, come with me and find safe haven in my jazz-filled warm bathtub.”

31. “My son is several weeks old. He is very familiar with the sound of power tools.”

32. “I regret nothing. the end.”

33. “My name is Ron Swanson. I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about the miserable world of local government.”

34. “Under my rule you will grow from boys to men, from men to gladiators, from gladiators to swansons.”

35. “Hey Mark. This is Beth, my ex-wife Tammy’s good-looking sister.

36. “Hey, who wants to see me climb a tree?”

37. “The only reason anyone goes to this is because they’re afraid of what Marlene will do to them if they don’t. Those women are tough. I gave her a nickname in 1994, it’s unrepeatable, but it stuck. This is my proudest achievement. This is Pawnee’s iron shredder.”

38. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear and hunger.”

39. Speaking of iPods: “Tom kept all my records in this Rextangle. Songs play one after the other. It’s a great rectangle.”

40. “I’m not interested in taking care of people.”

41. “Clear alcohol diets are for rich women.”

42. “Crying: Acceptable at Funerals and the Grand Canyon.”

43. “There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.”

44. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear and hunger.”

45. “The key to burning an effigy of an ex-wife is to dip it in paraffin wax and then throw a burning bottle of isopropyl alcohol at a safe distance. Don’t stand too close when you burn the ex-wife’s effigy.”

46. ​​“Under my rule you will become men from boys. From men to gladiators. And from the Gladiators to the Swansons.”

47. “The Swanson method, where you sleep with your eyes closed.”

48. “Son, literally everything is a weapon. That folder, in my hands, is far more dangerous than this bow of yours.”

50. “You can’t hack a typewriter. That’s all I have to say.”

51. “I have invested a large amount in gold which I have buried in various places around Pawnee. Or have I?”

52. “I’ll leave my kids $50 each for a cab from my funeral and a steak dinner at the end of the talk.”

53. “I will not hire a lawyer. I will represent myself in all legal matters and livestock auctions.”

54. “We can’t have a raccoon for the Christmas thing. They will hunt children for sport.”

55. “Every two weeks I have to sand my toenails. They are too strong for the Clippers.

56. “I think I must remind you that I do not believe that office or government as a whole should exist.”

57. “My idea of ​​a perfect government is one man who sits at a desk in a small room and is the only one allowed to decide who to nuke.”

58. “Just let business be business and government be government.”

59. “Government should not promote a failing business. It would be like slitting the throat of a mortally wounded animal and feeding it instead of properly utilizing its meat and pelt.”

60. “Government is inefficient and should be dissolved.”

61. “I was going to ask you for an answer. In the federal government – even saying it sounds dirty.

62. “What in God’s name is a freegan-vegan?”

63. “I’m just going to be angry, I feel like I’m relieved.”

64. “Leslie, no. We don’t negotiate with strange people.”

65. “Child labor laws are ruining this country.”

66. “Capitalism: God’s Way of Deciding Who’s Smart and Who’s Poor.”

67. “I like to say ‘no’. It dampens their enthusiasm.”

68. “There is only one bad word: tax.”

69. “Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only fools recommend that.”

70. “I’m not interested in taking care of people.”

71. “Strippers don’t do anything for me… but I’ll take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anywhere.”

72. “No home is complete without the right toolbox. Here’s April and Andy: a hammer, a half-eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridges like Sonic and the Hedgehog, half a pair of scissors, a flashlight full of jellybeans.

73.”My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My other ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My mother’s name is Tamara… she goes by Tammy.”

74. “Too bad if any of you need anything. Handle your problems like an adult.”

75. “Okay, everyone: keep calm! And look at me!”

76. “Welcome to ‘Vision of Nature’. There are many paintings in this room. Some are big, some are small. People did it and they are here now. I believe they will be hung in government buildings after this is over. Why the government participates in an art show is beyond me. I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint nature scenes when they can just go outside and stand. Anyway, don’t misconstrue what I’m talking about as a genuine interest in art right now, and try to discuss it with me further. End of speech. “

77. “Is there any history of mental illness in your family? I have an uncle who practices yoga.”

78.”Busy? impossible I work for the government.”

79. “I have cried twice in my life. I was once hit by a school bus when I was 7 years old. And then again when I heard that Lil Sebastian was gone.

80.” There was never a sorrow that could not be cured by a breakfast meal.”

81. “There’s only one thing I hate more than being lied to: Skim the milk. What is water is lying about being milk.”

82. “Usually, given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I choose to do nothing. But if it helps someone else by doing nothing, I will do something. I’ll work all night, if that means nothing.

83. “Never do two things by halves. A whole ass thing.”

84. “A dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are worthless.”

85. “There is only one bad word: tax.”

86. “Friends: One to Three Are Enough.”

87. “Breakfast food can serve many purposes.”

88. “I wish you luck, but I believe that luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”

89. “Dear frozen yogurt, you are dessert celery. Be it ice cream or nothing. Zero stars.”

90. “Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our houses alone.”

91. “On my deathbed, my last wish is for my ex-wives to run to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them to go to hell one last time.”

92. “I have created this office to symbolize how I feel about government. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. People who come here to ask me for things have to stare down the barrel…”

93. “I love being a father but there are a few things I miss: Silence. Absence of voice. A moment uninterrupted by the voice of a children’s program called Doc McStuffins. No more peace. There’s only Doc McStuffins.”

94. “I have currently accumulated two hundred and twenty five personal days I am using them all. While I am in charge of you. Also, I keep a large supply of ground chuck in my desk. Remove it or it will start smelling. Godspeed.”

95. “Ron Swanson’s Rules for BBQ: “No proof-y desserts. There will be no giant soap bubble guns. There will be no grown men in costume. And most importantly, there will be no vegetables.”

96. “I have a hernia. I’ve had it for a while and have been successfully ignoring it. But this morning I made the mistake of sneezing. But as long as I sit still and don’t move my head or torso, I’m good. I understand that.”

97. “Passing the Buck. The last refuge of cowards and blackhearts. “

98. “An ideal night for me is going to my porch area and grilling a thick slab of meat and then going to the highlight reel of the WNBA.”

99. “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, I still want to hit something.

100. “My idea of ​​a perfect government is a man who sits in a small room at a desk and is the only one allowed to decide who gets nuked. A man is selected based on some sort of IQ test and perhaps a physical competition such as a decathlon. And women are brought to him, perhaps…whenever he desires.

That’s it, 100 Ron Swanson quotes that we can all learn and be inspired by watching Ron Swanson figure in the world of movies and comedy.

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